First Birthday Smash Cake!

As I write this blog, it's difficult not to watch the clock and think to myself, "At this time last year, I was in a hospital bed simultaneously watching terrible television and the contraction monitor.  My husband (okay, fiance at the time... no one's perfect) was by my side, my mom was texting friends and family, and my dad was slouched on the couch in the low light of the birthing room.  In less than an hour, I'll have started pushing."

My daughter was born at 1:55 a.m. on March 3, 2011.  The days leading up to March 3, 2012, have been a lot more hectic than they were a year ago.  All I did then was sit around all day in pajamas stuffing my face with whatever food I could find, building houses in the Sims 3, and simply waiting uncomfortably for contractions to begin.  This year, however, it was all about party planning - busier, more stressful, but a lot more fun than the Waiting Game (which I have to look forward to next month when my son is due).

Packages started arriving in the mail full of party supplies that I ordered from three different websites in my hunt for the best deals; informal invitations were spread via Facebook, phone and word of mouth; food was purchased or pre-ordered; the house, cleaned and decorated. Including Evelyn's gifts, the whole thing cost us about $500 and a lot of energy.

And then I had to make a cake.

I don't bake.

My idea of baking up until this point has been opening a pouch of some kind of dessert mix and checking the back of the box to see how much oil and how many eggs to add.  Even then, I couldn't get it right:  Who knows how many brownies were burnt to the bottom of the pan, or how many dry cakes I pulled from the oven.

This year, it had to be different.  I've been doing too well with introducing my daughter to whole, real foods to let one day spoil it.  I wanted a simple cake made with simple ingredients that I could pronounce; I wanted to watch it be made from start to finish; I wanted no artificial flavors or colors or preservatives or any unnecessary additives.  You can't really find that from a box, but you can find it with a quick search of the internet.

I came across this recipe for an eggless whole wheat cake that I adapted slightly to reflect the ingredients that I had available.  Of course, I was skeptical and had every right to be.  No eggs, whole wheat flour, yogurt with vinegar.  What was I getting myself into?

Evelyn's Smash Cake

This cake made me nervous as I made it.  As I added the applesauce to the butter and sugar, it started to separate and look curdled.  The blog said it was going to do that, and it was fine, so I persisted.  Then, when I went to pour the batter into the cake pans, it was thick and gluey. I've never made a cake from scratch, but even I know that what I was pouring into those pans resembled more of a bread dough than anything.  The blog said it would be a little thick, so I persisted.

I watched through the oven door as the top of the cake began to harden like a bread crust, and small breaks along the surface started.  Here we go, I thought to myself.  You ruined your daughter's cake.  That recipe ruined your daughter's cake.  This cake ruined your daughter's cake.

When it was done, I scooped a corner of it out of the pan.  Yes, it had a slightly hard crust on top, but it was surprisingly soft inside - not spongy like the cake we're all usually used to, but it was more like a soft, dense banana bread.  The whole wheat flour mixed with the applesauce made it taste like sweet corn, and the first thing I thought was, "I just made corn bread without corn."  Subtly sweet, a little nutty, and too thick to really be cake.  This recipe should be rebranded as some kind of breakfast bread.  My husband insisted that melting butter on it would be perfect.

I gave Evelyn a little taste, and she did the classic "Give me more!" thing she does, which basically entails her grunting hard and pointing repeatedly at what she wants.  Really, the only thing that's important is that she liked it.  I liked it, too, honestly, but I would never serve it to guests as a cake.

For the record, everyone else at the party will be eating cupcakes from the local grocery store's bakery.

Eggless Whole Wheat Cake Breakfast Bread


Ingredients
1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup butter
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 Tbl apple cider vinegar
2 tsp real vanilla extract
1 cup plain whole milk yogurt

Technique

1.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, and prepare two 8" round cake pans by greasing them or lining with parchment paper.
2.  Whisk together the flours, the baking powder and the baking soda in a medium bowl.
3.  Cream together the butter, sugar and salt in a large mixing bowl with an electric mixer until fluffy.
4.  Add to the butter mixture 1/4 of the applesauce at a time, mixing thoroughly before adding the next 1/4, and so on until the entire cup has been used.  *Here is where it will start to look curdled, but don't worry.
5.  Add about 1/3 of the flour mixture until well-incorporated to the butter/applesauce blend.
6.  To the cup of yogurt, add your vinegar and vanilla extract and stir well.
7.  Add half of the yogurt mix to the large bowl with the butter/applesauce/flour, and mix thoroughly.  Add another third of the flour, blending fully.  Then add the rest of the yogurt, mixing well (be sure the scrape the sides to be sure everything is well-incorporated into the batter).  Add the remaining flour and mix well.  *I gave up using the hand mixer around this time and used good ol' fashioned elbow grease and a strong fork to mix everything together.  It was really gummy.
8.  Spread the batter into your pans.  It's incredibly thick, so you'll have to smooth it with a spatula.  Pop them in the oven and give them about 30 minutes or so.  The time will vary depending on what kind and size pan you use (you can also use one 9x13 pan instead of two 8" round pans).  Always do the "toothpick test" to find out if it's done:  If a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean, you're good to go.

Conclusion

I think my cake was a little underdone.  I was getting very impatient as the time kept creeping on longer and longer and the toothpick still came out a tiny bit doughy from the very bottom of the cake.  Since there are no eggs in it sitting around being raw and disgusting, I figured this would be okay.

I also ended up using one pan because the pair of 8" round cake pans I thought I had turned out to be just one cake pan with an odd burn mark in the middle of it.  I used what I had, and that was an 8" square pan which seemed awkward but fit all the dough.  I'm not sure how long it actually took to bake the cake in that pan.  I just kept adding minutes to the timer every time I tried the toothpick and got frustrated.  I cut a circle out of the middle of it and peeled away the rest of the cake (which is sitting in chunks in a Ziploc in the fridge for later consumption, to be warmed with butter and served with Sunday breakfast).

The cake is now wrapped in plastic in the fridge as it waits to be frosted in the morning. Keeping with the overall simplicity of the cake itself, I'm making a whipped cream with a little sugar and natural orange flavoring to fluff all over the cake, but I wanted it to be as fresh as possible, so that's a chore for tomorrow before the party.

I already know Evie likes the cake itself, so that's not a problem.  I'm just hoping she knows how to be extremely entertaining when she realizes she can dig her little mitts in and get as messy as she wants.

UPDATE:  Please do not make this cake.  If you do, don't store it in the fridge.  It pretty much reverted back to a wet, disgusting uncooked state.  I literally cooked it again and then decided "Whatever, she won't eat it anyway."  Sure enough, she was too busy swiping whipped cream off the cake to even get her little fingers into the cake itself, so in the end it turned out fine.  But that "cake" was absolutely horrendous.  This is why I don't bake!